Vacation update Pt. 2

And so now, vacation is over, and has been for almost five days.

Why have I waited this long to update upon it you ask? Because I have avoided doing so, to avoid the more than miniscule pang of heartache that I must again endure byway of once more finding myself apart from my love.

For 14 days, give or take a few hours, she was here, in my life, almost all the time, constantly, close at hand, never more than a few minuets away, rarely more than arms length from me, and always at the forefront of my mind in a simple, easy and direct manner. I doubt I can totally explain how right it felt, how peaceful and comforting it was, how good and simple and easy an experience those two weeks where. No matter if we where riding roller coasters, eating hamburgers, or at the movies, the whole world seemed right for the first time since I saw her last April. She makes the world seem better to me, and while it might be argued that she didn’t exactly MAKE the world a better place, she at least made it seem better, and that is what matters to me here and now.

Now more than ever that she is once more, gone.

Sitting on my couch late at night, talking about the world, about people, about us, swimming in the pool at my complex, teasing and flirting and being cute, driving around with the windows down, because my car doesn’t have working A/C right now, doing dishes, cooking, cuddling at the park, walking hand in hand, watching movies, and seeing the sights here in Fort Worth, visiting some of my family here and even talking with my parents… There was not a single moment that passed while she was here with me, that was unpleasant in any way, shape or form. The only sad or unpleasant moments that passed, where of course, the day she left, when after swimming, and a nap, we packed her things into my car, hugged in my living room and cried a moment, then drove to the airport via a Jack in the Box, and then… Once her baggage was checked, we embraced tightly, cried bitterly, and then said our good bye, tears filling our vision as she moved through the security line, and I rode the escalator down to the parking level.

I managed to not blubber and wail in the parking lot for a half hour before leaving. Barely.

I wish I could say that it does get easier to say good bye each time, but that’s horse-shit, it doesn’t, but at the very least, it doesn’t get any harder, and given that we will have to say good bye like that just once more time, if all pans out as we plan and expect it too, then it will be one more step towards forever with her, towards our life’s merging into one shared journey and a set of goals that we shall share and help each other with until the day one or both of us goes on to glory or judgment.

That’s all for now, otherwise this will be a small book of a post, and I’ve tried to limit them down on here for the sake of not drowning you dearest [sic] readers in Mother Russia with the mind numbing drivel of a true everyman from Texas/America who’s lucked out either by chance or the grace of Almighty God. You’re welcome comrades, because of course, “in soviet Russia, Blog post YOU!”

;P yes, please hate me and my totally kinda funny political incorrectness and mild hubris.

Endure,

~Caleb