Vocabulary

I can’t.

I won’t.

I must.

I will.

Turn your eyes away; don’t ask me for a snippet,

Image frozen of a younger me; etched through your eyes most limpid,

Would that my pain was paint chipped off, tossed in the trash out of your sight,

Hoping my voice and silence does not betray me, or my waning lack of might.

I can’t.

I won’t.

I must.

I will.

If wishes where horses, then this beggar would ride,

Away into the sunrise long, to be there at your side,

To bear you up with your trials, to make right your heartache,

But time does not befit my soul, linear earth’s path my own does not make.

I can’t.

I won’t.

I must.

I will.

Burn me now sun, cook my outermost hide,

Match please the obsidian pallor, the dull sheen I am inside,

For “Love is just an open flame, we burn ourselves just to feel the pain”,*

And time or distance be indeed moneys, prickled thorns society demands to drive insane.

I can’t.

I won’t.

I must.

I will.

Empty now and aching are my arms, and my “hands are a childishly simple puzzle”, **

Missing the most important pieces, as much as my nose misses yours to nuzzle,

But the lines are freshly burned down my cheeks, the tears a smoldering acid,

But you can’t see yet only hear them now, as others see the hiding face most placid.

I can’t.

I won’t.

I must.

I will.

Peel away the gritty blunt covering, and expose my entire gray,

Struggle and tumble clumsily my tongue and fingers, as I fail to articulate the words to say,

I can’t.

I won’t.

I must.

I will.

I love you I want you I need you I miss you, more than I could have ever dreamed possibly true,

And when you read this humble verse know it’s the next best offering this haggard broken boy, could ever give to a wondrous treasure of a girl like you.

~Caleb

*Out of My Hands ~ Green River Ordinance (song)

**Happy Valentine's Day, my Love ~ Kristen Dennis (poem)