good-bye good-bye good-bye, and all the tears we cry...

Gazing down at the earth below, I cannot help but feel the churning of emotions that now are sadly too familure to me, the profound sense of loss, the sudden sadness, the pang of lonelyness as we again say our good-byes. The hope everlasting springing up once more, that it is not forever, and that we'll once more see each other, soon enough one day, and that it will be enough, to be one step closer, to lowering, vanishing, destorying the barrier of distance and time, one peirod of time closer to together forever, where each moment isnt clouded by how rare it truly is. Indeed that is always what makes it so bittersweet, each time we meet, knowing that it is rare, special, and limited so, and perchance that is why we care as we do, overcoming all of the prevous and savoring each bit of time we get. But that never makes it easier... Every single time we say good-bye, I feel my heart collapsing, quaking, shuddering to a stop, as if dull thick sludge has entered my veins. I cannot help the tears in my eyes, cannot help the urge to cry until I die. I cannot stop the overwhelming sense of wrong, as if a part of my heart has been ripped out and drug away for no other reason than "just because" or that circumstances have yet to change. Three times in 24 hours, we said good bye, and due to life and people and circumstances, the hope and dream and wish for just one more day, was granted almost in full, but it was rending my heart, even as it soothed it, my body and mind pushed to a limit. I didn't force or plan or plot this, it just happened, and I've yet to tottally muddle through this, and I know that it has yet to hit me, to the fullest extent of what now is, its hopefully not too terribly long until we are together once more, for a little while longer at least, a small preview of when forever will start, but until that time, I still carry but half, of a wounded sad heart... I love you Kristen, even through the pain of absense, I love you, more and more every day. <3 Live Love Endure ~Caleb